Friday, January 17, 2014

A Journey To Remember - Episode 8

Here is the next episode of the story. To read the previous part Click Here . Thanks a lot for all the appreciation. It means a lot.

Life is a Bitch !
I parked my two-wheeler and started walking towards the fort. Shreya was right at the entrance waiting for me. She was wearing a cyan blue salwar kameez and looked stunning, as always. We greeted each other and entered the fort. Both of us didn't utter a single word. We walked, saw the paintings , looked at the visitors like we had been never been to this place. It was almost more than an hour that I couldn't stop myself, "Hey Shreya, you told me that you want to tell something?"

Shreya replied looking around, "Yup. I want to share something with you. But it is very crowded over here. I need privacy. Shall we go somewhere else? I mean, it's quite personal."

I suggested,"We'll take a walk in the road adjacent to this fort. There won't be anyone in that road"

The road was all empty except for the large green trees, cool breeze, Shreya, me and my anxiety.

"Come on, tell me", I was eagerly waiting for this moment.

" I don't know how i should share this with you, but.... Uffff.... Don't laugh at me after hearing this...I know, you won't...Shit! I feel scared..It's kind of awkward! Well, me and Sid are in a relationship now. I never wanted to get into this stuff but it all happened. It was all going great between me and Sid from past one year. He proposed me last Valentine's day and I hadn't said anything to him at that time. We spent some quality time together. I got to know him better during the last vacation. I accepted his proposal during that BR elections. I always wanted to share these things with you, but I wasn't able to. Sometimes you were very busy, at times i felt insecure to disclose this but lately I thought you should be the first person to know about this. You have been a very special person to me, I wanted to tell you about me and Sid. That's it. Now please don't ask me for a treat! And no comedy please!", She completed. 

I almost had an heart-attack. I couldn't breathe. I had a lump in my throat and was about to faint. I was lost. I was clueless. There was a sense of anger,disappointment, heart-break and my-life-is-gone feeling. 

I took few seconds and unwillingly said,"Congrats, Shreya ! Good choice. Sid is a very nice person.

I somehow managed to control my tears, but I couldn't. Thank God, I had my goggles! I couldn't hear a single word of what she was speaking. My world was broken into bits and pieces.

That night was a pretty long one. I was all alone standing on the terrace introspecting. I didn't know whom to blame; Was it Sid's mistake or Shreya's? Was it my procrastination? Am I so unlucky? Was it my fate? Didn't I deserve Shreya? Why didn't she realize my desires?  Probably, it wasn't anyone's mistake. Neither Sid nor Shreya was responsible for this. Sometimes, life is a bitch. It makes you go through the worst situations that you can never imagine.

I distanced myself from Shreya in the coming days. I tried to convince myself that I can live without her. It hurts more when you start pretending that it doesn't. I had to go through the worst phase of my life. Days were boring as well as frustrating without Shreya. Everyday Shreya was slipping away from my life even before she was mine. There was no Shreya in my life because she was busy with Sid. I wish she had sometime to ask me 'how are you?', but it didn't happen. I realized the hard reality of Life. Being an introvert, I didn't share this with anyone and this made it even worse for me. At times, I was in a confusion whether to propose her or not. Sometimes I googled, "How to break a relationship?", "Impressing a girl", "To get over a relationship?", "Moving on" and so on. 

Deep down inside, I knew eventually she would be mine.

Sid started his career as soon as he finished his graduation. But his job didn't affect their relationship. I didn't speak to Sid after he started writing codes for a Software company.  Actually, I had lost interest in cellphone,sms,trips and even weekend parties.The only relief factor was that I got placed in a decent company with a good package. Unfortunately, Shreya got selected in Sid's company. So my false hopes had completely vanished. Life is a bitch!

Sid invited me to celebrate Shreya's selection in his company and new year jointly. Though I declined it, Shreya forced me to join them. It was December 31st and the clocking was ticking 11PM. I rushed to the restaurant to find that I was late by an hour. Sid,Shreya and their friends (few of them were my friends as well) had sat in a round table. Shreya looked extremely beautiful that night. I couldn't tolerate her intimacy with Sid. My heart wished her to be mine badly,that moment. I knew, I was the best person to take care of her. I wanted to run away from this shitty world. I was feeling like a loser. I had no other reason to live life-without-Shreya. I was getting hyper looking at her. 

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